“Love in action” on Valentine’s Day

February 14th, 2010
Mother Teresa cradles an armless baby girl. AP/Photo Eddie Adams, Jacket design: James Sarfati

Mother Teresa cradles an armless baby girl. AP/Photo Eddie Adams, Jacket design: James Sarfati

I have wanted to post this for a week. I struggled and struggled about what to say and how to say it. I decided simply to start with the core of my inspiration, an excerpt from Reaching Out In Love, stories told by Mother Teresa. The book was compiled by Edward Le Joly and Jaya Chaliha. I don’t know what all of the legalities are, but I don’t think they will mind. I know Mother will not mind.  So a little story about Mother Teresa:

During an interview with Mother Teresa, two Japanese gentlemen expressed their feeling that many of the Japanese people might hesitate to seek help at her home because it was a Christian institution. “It has a cross,” one of them said, “and the cross is an obstacle to many in Japan. People might look at the cross and they might hesitate to come because they are not Christians.’

Mother told them about the most joyful place she had ever visited and dispelled their fears.

‘In Calcutta, we have a Home for the Dying near the great temple of the Hindu goddess Kali. It is one of the most famous temples in India and we have the home for the sick and the dying next door. They know we are Christians and we help them die in peace with their God. When the Hindus die, we call the Hindus and they take the bodies; when the Muslims die the Muslims take the bodies; when the Buddhists die, the Buddhists take the bodies; when the Christians die, the Christians come and take the bodies. But there is no fear. By being in the institution there, what we have to prove to our suffering people through our actions is that God loves them.’

‘Our love for God in action is our service to the poor. Your love for God in action is to write properly. Your love for God is to write the truth, to spread goodness, to spread beautiful things. this is the way you put your love for God in action.’

Mother Teresa’s wisdom has made me realize that each of us puts our ‘love in action’ for others thru our work and our ordinary daily interactions with others. I am a photographer. Thru my photography I can put my love for God and others to work. I know I am a little crusty, and that most people don’t know I think about such things. But the truth is I think about it all the time, everyday. But like many of us, I don’t always show it, or I am not successful at resisting the negative factors that affect our daily attititudes toward others and situations that arise.  I give it my all everyday and  I do take my work very seriously, because it is my way of showing love for others. I see them, and I think they are beautiful. I seek to show them how beautiful they are. God wants them to know too.

So when you think of the mundane things you do everyday for your family, and others, or even strangers on the street, just remember that you have an opportunity to show your love for others ‘in action.’ 

When asked ‘How do we love?’, Mother Teresa said:

‘Not in big things, but in small things, with great love. ‘

It is said that we teach what we want to learn. I will try harder everyday.

What to wear for your Valentine’s Day photography

February 1st, 2010
Any girl, any size can look great in the right lingerie and the right pose.

Any girl, any size can look great in the right lingerie and the right pose.

One of the questions I get asked most often by my clients when they are considering boudoir photography as a Valentine’s Day gift for their sweetie is “What should I bring to wear?” Since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, I will focus my next few blogs on my boudoir photography, which of course, is the ULTIMATE gift for guys on this holiday of lovers.

Many ladies ask me if I supply the ‘outfits’. The answer is no. You really do need to bring your own lingerie. I know a few photographers who ’supply costumes’. I do not agree with this. I mean, do you really want to wear someone else’s underwear? Not only is it unsanitary, but after he sees your photos, your guy is going to want to see YOU in that outfit! At least if the photographer did their job he will!

So….what to bring to the shoot, right? Based on my 20 plus years experience, here are some suggestions.

You need to pick what looks good on YOU. Not what’s comfortable, not what you saw in an ad, but what flatters you and your figure. It’s okay to bring some outfits that are sentimental favorites, like one of ‘his’ dress shirts he saw you in, a sexy dress that he likes or an outfit he bought for you. Pay close attention to what he says he likes on you. What parts of your body does he say he likes? Choose outfits that accentuate those parts of your body that he likes and also the parts that YOU like.

Most importantly, think of lingerie as a tool. It’s a tool you use to bring out what you like and downplay what you don’t. It’s one of many tools that I use in the photo shoot. You don’t have to be a frilly lingerie type to take advantage of this fact. A simple bra and panties set is lingerie. Doesn’t have to be fancy. It can be plain and simple or it can be sweet and frilly or it can be hard and fast, the possiblilities are limitless!

Figure helpers are:

The ‘push up’ bra. Always a great idea whether you have big boobs or not. But a small chested gal can gain a lot of mileage with a good one. Put that with a matching set of panties and some thigh high stockings and heels and there you have it. Underwire is also a good thing, at least in photo shoot world. Save ‘comfortable’ for your sweatpants.

Panties: ladies no ‘granny panties’ please! If it covers your entire backside, chances are it’s NOT SEXY. Go with a french cut, thong or t back. With the proper positioning and camera angle I can make your butt look model perfect. Please don’t look in the mirror at your butt. The mirror lies. When it comes to your backside, it’s all about the lighting and angle. A little photoshop doesn’t hurt either.

Corsets, I LOVE them. I was born with no waist. If you were too, I feel your pain. There is barely 4 inches between my ribs and my hipbones. How can a waist fit there? But I have been trying for years! Anyway, if you are a little thick in the middle, the corset is your best friend. Make sure it laces up, just like the scene from the Titanic. It should have 2 laces. One coming down from the top and one coming up from the bottom. They should meet in the middle of your back. They should NOT tie on the bottom. You want the cinch in the middle of your waist, not on your hips (no muffin bulge please). Also the strings should be almost like shoelaces. Ribbon is okay, but won’t give you as much tension. Remember, breathing is for wimps. As long as you look great who cares if you pass out! You will have the hourglass figure….or die trying. As long as you last until the photoshoot is over.  Make sure your boobs fit into the top. There should be an underwire built in. If not, it’s not a good enough corset,  it won’t push the girls up well enough and they will shift downward.  Most corsets have built in garters. The better ones are removable. Which brings us to our next subject: stockings.

Stockings: thigh highs are the most popular. Just remember some thigh highs are ‘functional’ and some are ‘recreational’…wink, wink.  Functional stockings are for work, they have unattractive thick elastic at the top, and usually cut deep into your thigh. This is so they don’t fall down while your filing something in the office. And who cares? No one sees them. Recreational stockings, on the other hand, look ‘pretty’ on top. They usually have lace tops or a simple plain top. Unfortunately, most of the lace tops also have elastic in them. It’s unfortunate because many ladies still want to wear a garter with them. The stockings with the elastic are too thick to fit into the garter attachment, although I can make it work anyway by going between the elastic rings in the top of the stocking. In the last few years, they have finally come out with lace top stockings without elastic! Most sales people, however, don’t realize this and will sell you any lace top to go with the garters. So if you want to use garters AND have a lace top stocking try to find the ones without the elastic. The plain top stockings are intended for use with the garters and look great, but I know most of you like the lace better. Oh, and that thigh ‘bulge’ you have at the top? Don’t worry, I can fix it!

Heels: notice I didn’t say shoes. When it comes to boudoir there are no other type of shoes. Leave the office shoes at home. There is a reason that the thin, high, spiked and stilletto heels have been around for so long. They are FLATTERING TO YOUR LEGS. I recommend a 3 inch or higher. With certain outfits platforms can work, or boots or sometimes even barefoot, but the heels are a boudoir standard. The strippers know what they’re doing girls.

Robes and shirts: I mention these because paired with a bra and panties or corset, if you are a little heavy, they can shave the pounds off. They will not take the place of proper posing, but can be a definate asset.

Baby dolls and other loose lingerie: I love baby dolls, however, choose the ones with the underwire tops unless you are happy with ‘the girls’ postioning in them. Remember these are unstructured garments. They don’t control anything. I can make them work for anybody, but unless you have a tight bod, things are going to move around…if you know what I mean.

Shelf bras, crotchless panties, etc:  I am all for variety. If you like it, bring it. Anything goes! After all, how many times are you going to do boudoir photos? You really need to GO FOR IT! Don’t be afraid, I’ll take good care of you. I know how to make you look great in anything…… or nothing!

I am also including a few lingerie sites I like. If you are looking for something sexy in lingerie with a certain theme, such as a french maid, nurse, etc. Go to www.3wishes.com  Loved a lot of their stuff. Not too bad on price for most of it. If you are a large and lovely lady I liked www.hipsandcurves.com very classy and well done site. Of course there is always the pretentious Victoria’s Secret. Nice stuff, but just try and find a bra and pantie that match in your size! I prefer Fredericks of Hollywood. More variety, naughty and nice alike and much more accessable.

Well there you have it, I could go on and on. I am open for any question on the subject. Thanks for reading!

I was first…that’s why I’m the Queen

January 27th, 2010

Valentine's Day-3For my first post, I thought I’d try to explain the name of my blog “Arizona Boudoir Photography Queen”.  Since I do so many other types of photography: weddings, children, pregnancy, high school seniors and even commercial work, the name seems rather limiting. So here goes…

Long, long ago….in the land of the ‘Valley of the Sun’ there existed a credo among ‘legitmate’ photographers that photographing women in their underwear was a dirty thing. Not to be talked about or mentioned in the circles of  ‘carriage trade’ photography discussions.

But in the shadows there were photographers, including myself, who were legitimate and prosperous and who thought that a client should be able to express themselves to the camera sexually in an artful way.  Most of all without being judged as 2nd class or worse yet, low class. Even those who did do it, did not do ‘nude photography’ or alternative lifestyle folks and couples. Boudoir photography was tolerated, but snickered at by my colleages.

I remember many laughing out loud when I discussed it. When a boudoir photo was entered into a professional photography competition, it was automatically assumed that it was my work. Unfortunately, they were usually right. It was hard to score high in the competitions with boudoir work, and to a certain extent, it still is.

Well, it seems, these same folks are now doing boudoir photography. Some are really promoting it, some are ‘hiding’ it by setting it up in an entirely new business name. If I sound angry, well I’m not, just annoyed. I am also vindicated. I feel I was ahead of my time. I don’t feel, however, that tolerance is revolutionary, or that being open to explore things that make you uncomfortable is something unique to myself. But I do feel that I am more willing than most to be open to what my clients want and to intuit their genuine desires and their image of themselves as sexual beings.

All that being said, I am now still ahead of my colleages in the boudoir arena. I know how to get to the core of how a young lady REALLY wants to look. What will get her to relax in front of the camera, stark naked. To express herself without fear of ridicule, and to help her to revive the inner confidence in her looks, sexuality and more. All the lighting instruction, beautiful sets, sophisticated equipment and yes, photoshop, cannot replace that look in the eye of the subject that communicates her inner ’seductive’ self. Her sexual ‘womaness’ to be expressed in HER style, is what I seek to get thru to the camera.

So…..there are the divas and various others who are now ‘discovering’ boudoir. But I AM THE QUEEN. The ‘Grand Dame’ if you will. At least in my little corner of the world. I love photographing weddings and children and all the rest, but what I am most known for is my Boudoir Photography. Now I can finally feel really proud to say that.

Also, my blog will be very honest and sometimes probably too personal and blunt. But as a good friend once told me, “Be yourself, you are beautiful as you are”. She knows who she is, and I want to thank her for reminding me that God makes us what we are. Who are we to question it?

Thank you for reading.